Tuesday, August 17, 2010


This is a short little essay I wrote last Fall. It was the beginning of a wonderful time in my life. I was able to draw near to God and find a sort of fellowship that was so sweet it seemed almost unreal. But it was real, and it still is real. It began by realizing something about God’s character that I had overlooked. Yes, He has billions of people on this planet to care for and fellowship with. But He honestly WANTS to have fellowship with ME. Not because of who I am, but because of who He is. . . .

There are two kinds of jealousy – sinful and righteous. Wanting what is not yours is sinful – and I’m not even sure it is really jealousy at all – just covetousness – which is sin.

Righteous jealousy is wanting what is supposed to be yours but SIN has caused it to not be that way. A husband has righteous jealousy when he sees his wife with another man.

God is a jealous God. He burns with jealousy when we fail in our duty (sin!) to worship Him. When we’re off on our own path – seeking out worldly idolatrous and adulterous pleasures we’re grieving God. We’re being the lost, wayward, unfaithful Bride of Christ and God has righteous jealousy when we act that way.

And God always wants MORE of us. Two people in love are never satisfied when they are separated.

So God loves me – He has all these intense feelings, desiring fellowship ALWAYS. The question is – do I love God in any way like that? Is my heart aching when I don’t have fellowship? Am I ever satisfied?

Do I pat myself on the back after one hour of Bible study? Or do I thirst for more?

Is quiet time with God an item on my to-do list or an unquenchable passion in my life?

God is jealous for me. Am I jealous for God?

Does my heart ache when sin draws me away from fellowship? (Nov 1, 2009)

Exodus 20: 3, 5You shall have no other gods before me. . . . for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God . . .

Journal Suggestions:

Describe a time you felt particularly close to the Lord.

Tell about an attribute of God that has recently become more real for you.

1 comment:

  1. I almost missed this one, but glad I checked back. Thank you for your thoughts. As Tozer states "I want to want him". And I do, I want Him, but I want Him to give me a burning desire to want Him more. Good thoughts, Barbara. You are an inspiration. Love, Carol